Second Wife Woes
Nine months after his first wife died, Jack decided that he was done being miserable. Misery was exhausting, and he needed to create a better life for himself and his boys. He could not change the past, but he could change the present. A month or so later, he saw me exit my office building and went on a quest to meet me.
Jack was ready to date. Some of his friends and family members were not. After our first date, they threatened him, questioned his integrity, insulted him, and manipulated his boys against him before turning their anger against me. I understand they were hurting, but their behavior was inexcusable (certain events will be discussed later in the blog).
I had just met Jack, and people erupted in anger around me, threatening me to break it off. I did not know what to think. We had just met and were not dating seriously, but there was an immediate connection. I did not want to walk away before exploring what was there – in 43 years, I had never met a man like him.
Jack’s late wife’s parents accused me of dating a married man. He was not married. He was widowed, but I did not know if he was genuinely single. Was he still married in his heart? Was he only looking to fill a hole in his life (or bed)? Was he looking for a woman to share his grief? I am not a therapist, and I did not want to date a man still in love with another woman. I am no one’s replacement.
At that time, I needed to know whether Jack could love me and build a life with me or whether he was a good man still in love with his late wife and living with her in his mind. If you ask yourself similar questions, I encourage you to read Abel Keogh’s book Dating a Widower, follow him on Facebook, and watch his YouTube videos. You deserve to be loved, genuinely and faithfully loved – forsaking all others (including the late wife) until death do you part. Being a second wife does not mean second in his heart.
Jack demonstrated his love for me before I agreed to marry him. His love for me and commitment to us is the foundation of the family we created.