My Reason

People questioned my motives for becoming a stepmom to children whose mother had died. I was accused of “husband hunting,” which is far from the truth. I am a professional businesswoman who moved to a remote area for a job – a career transition from practicing law to executive management. I live in a small community with few dating opportunities – if I were looking for a husband, I would not have looked here. Meeting Jack was not part of my plan – it was a surprise that brought complexity and uncertainty into my life.

I was accused of dating Jack for his late wife’s life insurance money. I am a self-sufficient woman. I am financially stable, have four degrees, am a published author, own a patent, and have a fulfilling career managing two companies. I had purchased my own house and have retirement savings. Dating Jack for insurance money never occurred to me.

I was accused of needing a man to take care of my children. I had never been married and did not have any children. When this was discovered, the accusation changed to I have no idea how to be a mother and that I am trying to take someone else’s kids. I was not taking the boys away from their mother – I never met her, did not cause her death, was not trying to replace her, and did not want to live her life.

I did not need Jack or his boys. I did not need a man to support me. I did not need a husband and stepchildren to feel “whole” or “fulfilled.” I have strong relationships with family and friends and never let my singleness get in the way of enjoying life.

So, why did I marry Jack and become a stepmom? Why did I give up future career options, disposable income, and autonomy? Why did I agree to be a part of a family that needed so much healing?

My reason is the universal answer to why we do anything – love. I love Jack. I love his grounded, quiet demeanor. I love his selfless nature. I love his work ethic. I love the way we talk about history for hours. I love sitting next to him in the silence. I love how we work together, performing the mundane tasks of everyday life. I love his commitment to honesty and integrity. I love the way he looks at me. I love him completely. We fit so naturally together. I did not think a love like ours was possible, so when I faced harassment, public ridicule, and physical threats because of it, I persevered. His love and respect for me made our relationship strong enough to create the life we both wanted despite the opposition we faced. None of the content of this blog would be possible without his love and commitment to us.

I hope your reason is a strong reason.